Your essays are failing to show a purpose or plan for how you are expressing your ideas. Most of you are essentially arguing, but your arguments are simply a string of statements—thus not effective.
A pan must fulfill these concerns:
(1) How can you OPEN the piece to engage your reader and establish your FOCUS?
(2) How can you organize your support CLAIMS that reinforce your focus?
(3) What evidence do you provide for EACH MAJOR CLAIM?
(4) Do you provide the needed ELABORATIONS that help your reader connect the evidence to the claim and the claim to your focus?
I will continue to push you on FOCUS, CLAIMS, EVIDENCE, and ELABORATIONS. . .and you need to push me on what those are, how they can be more effective, and whatever you need to sharpen your understanding of organizing and developing a written argument.
