Conferences, Round 2

Conferences have been re-assigned. . .see list in class or email me to confirm.

Essential Elements of Effective Writing

Your essays are failing to show a purpose or plan for how you are expressing your ideas. Most of you are essentially arguing, but your arguments are simply a string of statements—thus not effective.

A pan must fulfill these concerns:

(1) How can you OPEN the piece to engage your reader and establish your FOCUS?

(2) How can you organize your support CLAIMS that reinforce your focus?

(3) What evidence do you provide for EACH MAJOR CLAIM?

(4) Do you provide the needed ELABORATIONS that help your reader connect the evidence to the claim and the claim to your focus?

I will continue to push you on FOCUS, CLAIMS, EVIDENCE, and ELABORATIONS. . .and you need to push me on what those are, how they can be more effective, and whatever you need to sharpen your understanding of organizing and developing a written argument.

Grades?

You will eventually receive grades on your essays as follows:

Content and Organization (C/O): 10 pts
Diction and Style (D/): 5 pts
Grammar and Mechanics (G/M): 5 pts
________________________________________

20 pts

20 A+
19 A
18 A-

17 B+
16 B
15 B-

14 C+
13 C
12 C-

11 D+
10 D
9 D-

8 below F

Drafting, rewriting, revising. . .what to do. . .?

After submitting your first draft in our FYW, you may be wondering what to do next. Here are some tips about revising and rewriting your work:

• Look over your draft and all of the comments I have offered to get an initial feel for the big picture—what are the strengths of your draft, what are the weaknesses?

• Rarely should you simply take that draft and "correct" what has been marked. Many times, you will be better starting on blank paper (or screen) to rewrite your essay. I believe after the first draft, a rewrite is often needed; then you are probably ready to take the second or third draft and revise that version.

• Do some additional brainstorming after the first draft. . .create an outline or diagram of what your draft accomplished. What is your focus? Your main points? Your evidence? What is your organizational pattern? What gives your essay life?

• Talke about your essay with someone and have other people read your work. Ask them what you have said. . .ask them for strengths and weaknesses.

• Focus your rewriting and revision on content and style until you achieve a draft you are sure is close to complete; then begin to edit, worrying about grammar and mechanics when you are ready to declare the work finished. There is no need to polish something that isn't valuable to begin with. . .

Batman

Here are some resources for looking at the history of the Batman character from DC Comics:

Outline of the Batman character

Batman Fan Site

Batman wiki from DC

Is Batman religious?

Religion in Batman: Year One

Discussion of The Dark Knight movie in salon.com

New artist for Detective Comics, J. H. Williams III

Conferences Week of 9/21/09

Monday (9/21) @ 2—Matt Solomon
Monday (9/21) @ 3—Alanna Gillis
Monday (9/21) @ 4—Kyle Sanders

Tuesday (9/22) @ 9—Rashaun Phillips
Tuesday (9/22) @ 9:30—Alex Lea
Tuesday (9/22) @ 10—Ada Bennett
Tuesday (9/22) @ 10:30—Eric Eaton
Tuesday (9/22) @ 1:30—Nikki Moss
Tuesday (9/22) @ 2:30—Patrick Farah
Tuesday (9/22) @ 3:30—Ben Mayberry

Wednesday (9/23) @ 2:30—Rhett Wallace

Thursday (9/24) @ 10:30—Mary-Pat Bradshaw

Feedback after Essay One

When you revise, first, take more care with having a plan for your discussion. What is your main idea/focus and how do you plan to make that case? Next, create an opening that works, that has specific details, that captures your reader's mind and interest.

Also, you all need to get off the "it" and "thing" train. . .your words are far too often vague. Again, write with PURPOSE and CARE. Too many of these drafts were careless. . .

• Start noticing the conventions of APA. Your sources are included AS PART OF YOUR ESSAY (last page after a page break) and labeled as "References," not "Works Cited" (that is MLA).

• Title page? Name and information?

• Effective writing must have an organizational plan.

• Be specific and clear, always.

• Statements mean little without evidence; evidence means little without elaboration.

• Take care with WORD CHOICE and avoiding VAGUE language.

Writing Ideas and Techniques

"Letter from Birmingham City Jail," Martin Luther King Jr. (16 April 1963)

• Allusion—making a brief reference to historical, literary, or religious ideas or events or people in order to reinforce a rhetorical point.

ex. "We have waited for more than 340 years for our constitutional and God given rights."

• Parallelism—constructing a sentence or series of sentences with repeated grammatical structures in order to emphasize points.

ex. "But when you have seen vicious mobs lynch your mothers and fathers at will and drown your sisters and brothers at whim; when you have seen hate filled policemen curse, kick and even kill your black brothers and sisters; when you see the vast majority of your twenty million Negro brothers smothering in an airtight cage of poverty in the midst of an affluent society; when you suddenly find your tongue twisted and your speech stammering as you seek to explain to your six year old daughter why she can't go to the public amusement park that has just been advertised on television, and see tears welling up in her eyes when she is told that Funtown is closed to colored children, and see ominous clouds of inferiority beginning to form in her little mental sky, and see her beginning to distort her personality by developing an unconscious bitterness toward white people; when you have to concoct an answer for a five year old son who is asking: 'Daddy, why do white people treat colored people so mean?'; when you take a cross county drive and find it necessary to sleep night after night in the uncomfortable corners of your automobile because no motel will accept you; when you are humiliated day in and day out by nagging signs reading 'white' and 'colored'; when your first name becomes 'nigger,' your middle name becomes "boy" (however old you are) and your last name becomes 'John,' and your wife and mother are never given the respected title "Mrs."; when you are harried by day and haunted by night by the fact that you are a Negro, living constantly at tiptoe stance, never quite knowing what to expect next, and are plagued with inner fears and outer resentments; when you are forever fighting a degenerating sense of 'nobodiness'—then you will understand why we find it difficult to wait."

• Authority—referring to a quote or idea expressed by some authority in the area of the point being made by the writer.

ex. "To put it in the terms of St. Thomas Aquinas: An unjust law is a human law that is not rooted in eternal law and natural law."

• Rhetorical question—posing a question to prompt the reader to consider the ideas in the question, not necessarily to answer the question directly.

ex. "Can any law enacted under such circumstances be considered democratically structured?"

• Aphorism—crafting brief memorable statements in order to emphasize a key point, often incorporating rhyme, repetition, or some other technique to achieve the effect desired.

ex. "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."

• Repetition—repeating words or similar forms of words for effect.

ex. "Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. Never again can we afford to live with the narrow, provincial "outside agitator" idea. Anyone who lives inside the United States can never be considered an outsider anywhere within its bounds."

• Figurative language—incorporating metaphorical language in nonfiction writing—metaphors, similes, personification.

ex. "We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny." and "Let us all hope that the dark clouds of racial prejudice will soon pass away and the deep fog of misunderstanding will be lifted from our fear drenched communities, and in some not too distant tomorrow the radiant stars of love and brotherhood will shine over our great nation with all their scintillating beauty."

Monday August 31

The National, "Theory of Crows"

Lyrics

R.E.M., "(Don't Go Back to) Rockville"

Lyrics:

Looking at your watch a third time waiting in the station for the bus
Going to a place that's far, so far away and if that's not enough
Going where nobody says hello, they don't talk to anybody they don't know
You'll wind up in some factory that's full time filth and nowhere left to go
Walk home to an empty house, sit around all by yourself
I know it might sound strange, but I believe
You'll be coming back before too long

(chorus)
Don't go back to Rockville, don't go back to Rockville, don't go back to Rockville
And waste another year

At night I drink myself to sleep and pretend
I don't care that you're not here with me
'Cause it's so much easier to handle
All my problems if I'm too far out to sea
But something better happen soon
Or it's gonna be too late to bring *me back

(repeat chorus)

It's not as though I really need you
If you were here I'd only bleed you
But everybody else in town only wants to bring *me down and
That's not how it ought to be
Well I know it might sound strange, but I believe
You'll be coming back before too long

(repeat chorus 2x)

Friday, August 28

• The Elements of Moral Philosophy—a brief introduction to ethics

• Writing process

• Cisneros, "A House of My Own" writing exercise

Welcome to your FYW. . .and first semester at Furman

Here is a little taste of some of my work as a writer:

Understand the "research" about school choice

Piper Presentation

Writing Goals

• Pursuing "ethical expertise," not objectivity

Liberating Scholarly Writing, Robert Nash

Corridor of Shame : Credibility and the failure of manipulation (propaganda and ideology)

Content Goals

• What is the role of our professions/jobs in our pursuit of happiness?

• William Ayers, To Teach

• Must we have a moral/ethical imperative in our lives in order to be happy? (Batman)

• Why do people pursue medicine as a career? (Sicko)

Syllabus

FYW-1170-01

Life Without Principle (Fall 2010)

Instructor: Dr. P. L. Thomas

Phone: 294-3386 (office); 590-5458 (cell)

Class time: M, W, F 9:30-10:20

Room: HH 106

Office hours: by appointment, 101F Hipp Hall

Email: paul.thomas@furman.edu

Course Blogs: http://lifewithoutprinciplefyw.blogspot.com/

http://wrestlingwithwriting.blogspot.com/

http://conventionallanguage.blogspot.com/

Academic Integrity: http://www.furman.edu/integrity/InformationforStudents.htm

"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates

REQUIRED TEXTS

Thoreau, Henry David. “Life without Principle.” (See online text linked on course blog: http://www.vcu.edu/engweb/transcendentalism/authors/thoreau/lifewithoutprinciple.html)

Mill, John Stuart. “Chapter II: Of the Liberty of Thought and Discussion.” (See online text linked on course blog: http://www.bartleby.com/130/2.html)

DeSalvo, L. (1996). Vertigo: A memoir. New York: Dutton.

Kingsolver, B. (2002). Small wonder. New York: Perennial.

Miller, F., & Mazzucchelli, David. (2007). Batman: Year one. New York: DC Comics.

Choose one or more additional books to read and discuss:

Suggestions (but others may be chosen; have choice[s] approved)

Schlink, B. (1995). The reader. New York: Vintage International.

Yates, R. (1961). Revolutionary road. New York: Vintage Contemporaries.

Vonnegut, K. (1999). Player piano. New York: The Dial Press.

Atwood, M. (1998). The handmaid's tale. New York: Anchor Books.

COURSE DESCRIPTION

In “Life without Principle,” Henry David Thoreau asks about the nature of being free as an individual and part of society. This seminar explores the big ideas spurred in Thoreau's work in the context of the Batman myth, a memoir, a collection of essays, and major novels such as Player Piano (Vonnegut) and The Handmaid's Tale (Atwood). Through discussion, reading, and composing original essays, students will consider “the pursuit of happiness” and the realization of the ethical life, a life with principle.

FYW GOALS AND OBJECTIVES

• Enthusiasm for learning and reflection.

Students will read, write, discuss, reflect during class and throughout the semester—both as a fulfillment of the course requirements and by choice outside of class. The semester will be an opportunity to explore the nature of democracy and education along with how the two have and do interact in the U. S. and internationally.

• Critical consideration of established knowledge.

Student will read and research key schools of thought about education; further, they will focus on major works about education in order to share these important areas of the field of education with the class.

• Critical evaluation of preconceptions and assumptions.

Students will identify their own preconceptions about education and democracy. They will also begin to outline the assumptions that drive ideological tensions about education and democracy within the historical and contemporary debates about education.

• Understanding available and emerging sources of information and appreciating the importance of independent work and appropriate citation.

• Appreciation of the research process and of the creative expansion of information and understanding.

Students will draft and complete original essays and a final autobiographical collage. This original writing will reflect the students’ scholarship, including their skills at selecting and interpreting sources along with their ability to craft original written scholarship that conforms to the conventions of the genre (including appropriate documentation).

• Proficiency in expository and argumentative writing.

Students will draft original academic and scholarly compositions within a workshop format that requires multiple drafts and conferencing with peers and the professor.

ASSIGNMENTS

[ ] Students are expected to attend all class sessions, read all assigned texts, participate fully in class discussions, and contribute during writing workshop activities.

[ ] Students should begin and maintain a journal throughout the course. The writing journal can be either a hard-copy journal (purchased or created) or an electronic journal maintained on a computer. Entries should include dates. Students should establish and consider throughout the course their writing process and research process as part of the journal.

[ ] Students will complete a number of writing exercises throughout the course; they may be completed directly in the writing journal or added to the journal when submitted at the end of the course.

[ ] Students will compose and submit four original essays* throughout the course (see Course Schedule); each essay must be submitted in multiple drafts that reflect significant revision as impacted by both peer and instructor input during the writing process. The four essays should fulfill the following broad, but essential, guidelines:

(1) Essay 1 should address topics and questions raised in either or both of the texts required by Thoreau and Mill. Issues and essay genre are the decision of each student, but should be considered through conferences with the professor. This foundational piece should consider the focus of this course: What is the “pursuit of happiness” for each individual? What role does liberty play in that pursuit? How does a person’s profession impact that pursuit? What is an ethical life? How does the pursuit of happiness by an individual impact the possibility of happiness for others in the broader community? OR, a focus of your choice.

(2) Essay 2 should be drawn from reading and considering the Batman myth. This piece should look at the ethical dilemmas raised in Bruce Wayne’s commitment to justice and his obsession with revenge. How does the Batman myth help us consider the role of material wealth in our pursuit of happiness and an ethical life? OR, a focus of your choice.

(3) Essay 3 should focus on DeSalvo’s Vertigo. OR, a focus of your choice.

(4) Essay 4 should deal primarily with additional reading of your choice. OR, a focus of your choice.

* REQUIRED: At least one of the major essays above must be a documented work; citations must be in APA format. Appropriate and sufficient sources for this requirement must be approved by the professor.

[ ] Students submit all work in a final portfolio, including all work throughout the course and a reflective piece on the quality of your essays and your new awareness of your writing process.

Minimum Requirements for Passing:

• Submit all essays in MULTIPLE DRAFTS before the last day of the course; initial drafts and subsequent drafts should be submitted with great care, as if each is the final submission, but students are expected to participate in process writing as a minimum requirement of this course.

• Demonstrate adequate understanding of proper documentation and citation of sources through a single well-cited essay or several well-cited essays. A cited essay MUST be included in your final portfolio.

Fall 2010 MWF Schedule

Date	Class Focus
W 8/25	“A House of My Own,” Sandra Cisneros (http://summerfurmangrad.blogspot.com/2010/06/sandra-cisneros-house-of-my-own-house.html) Introduction to course, writing, ethics. . .
F 8/27	Writing process, what makes good writing, assumptions about writing
M 8/30	Thoreau, Henry David. “Life without Principle.” (See online text linked on course blog: http://www.vcu.edu/engweb/transcendentalism/authors/thoreau/lifewithoutprinciple.html)
W 9/1	“Life” cont.
F 9/3	Writing workshop
M 9/6	Labor Day Holiday
W 9/8	Mill, John Stuart. “Chapter II: Of the Liberty of Thought and Discussion.” (See online text linked on course blog: http://www.bartleby.com/130/2.html)
F 9/10	Writing workshop
M 9/13	Kingsolver essays (choice)
W 9/15	Kingsolver essays (choice)
F 9/17	Writing workshop
M 9/20	E. 1 Initial Submission DUE
W 9/22	Batman: Year One
F 9/24	Writing workshop
M 9/27	Discuss Batman Myth cont.
W 9/29	Discuss Batman Myth cont.
F 10/1	Writing workshop
M 10/4	Scholarly writing; citation and documentation; academic integrity (http://www.furman.edu/integrity/InformationforStudents.htm)
W 10/6	Writing Workshop
F 10/8	NO CLASS MEETING
M 10/11	E. 2 Initial Submission DUE
W 10/13	MIDTERM
F 10/15	FALL BREAK
M 10/18	Vertigo, DeSalvo
W 10/20	Vertigo cont.
F 10/22	Writing workshop
M 10/25
W 10/27
F 10/29
M 11/1	E. 3 Initial Submission DUE
W 11/3
F 11/5	Writing workshop
M 11/8	Additional book choice due, discuss
W 11/10	Additional book choice due, discuss
F 11/12	Writing workshop
M 11/15
W 11/17
F 11/19	NO CLASS MEETING
M 11/22	E. 4 Initial Submission DUE
W 11/24	THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY
F 11/26	THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY
M 11/29
W 12/1
F 12/3
M 12/6
FINAL EXAM 12/14 8:30-11; HH 106

Academic Integrity

• Academic integrity at Furman is governed by the university's academic integrity policy (121.5). Students have the ultimate responsibility for understanding and adhering to university policy. They should therefore familiarize themselves thoroughly with the information on this web site, as well as with other university materials on this topic.

• Understanding what constitutes academic misconduct is essential for avoiding it. This is especially true of plagiarism. Check out the definitions of academic misconduct and tips for avoiding plagiarism on this web site. Ask for clarification from your instructor(s) if necessary. Do not automatically assume that what applies in one course applies in another. (Of course, some behaviors are always wrong, such as plagiarizing an assignment, fabricating data, or cheating on a test or quiz.)

• Furman students are not required to report suspected violations of academic integrity, but they are encouraged and empowered to do so by the policy.

• Disputed allegations of academic integrity are adjudicated by the Academic Discipline Committee (see 190.6). This committee consists of five faculty members and two students.

• The professor has the authority to determine the grade penalty for violations of academic integrity. The Academic Discipline Committee (ADC) has the authority to impose penalties for violations beyond the grade in the course, such as revocation of pass-fail status, suspension, and/or expulsion from the university. In addition, students can appeal a grade penalty to the ADC, which may choose to recommend a different penalty to the professor. The course instructor retains authority over the grade, however.

In short, Furman students should:

• Inform themselves about Furman policy and expectations through this web site and other available means;

• Abide by the university's academic integrity policies and encourage others to do the same;

• Ask for clarification from professors if necessary;

• Learn how to cite sources appropriately;

• Report suspected violations of the policy.

Rationale: Courses Taught by P. L. Thomas—Welcome to the Occupation

Paulo Freire (1993) establishes early in his Pedagogy of the Oppressed, “One of the basic elements of the relationship between oppressor and oppressed is prescription. Every prescription represents the imposition of one individual’s choice upon another, transforming the consciousness of the person prescribed to into one that conforms with the prescriber’s consciousness” (pp. 28-29).

The course before you, your course, will be guided by some essential principles, beliefs, and research concerning the nature of learning and teaching along with the commitments I have to the dignity of each person’s humanity and to the sacredness of intellectual freedom within a democracy. The practices and expectations of this course are informed by many educators, writers, and researchers—many of who are referenced at the end. But the guiding philosophies and theories of this course can be fairly represented as critical pedagogy, critical constructivism, and authentic assessment.

Now that I am in my third decade as a teacher, my classroom practices and expectations for students are all highly purposeful—although most of my practices and expectations are non-traditional and may create the perception that they are “informal.” For you, the student, this will be somewhat disorienting (a valuable state for learning) and some times frustrating. Since I recognize the unusual nature of my classes, I will offer here some clarity and some commitments as the teacher in this course.

In all of my courses, I practice “critical pedagogy.” This educational philosophy asks students to question and identify the balance of power in all situations—an act necessary to raise a your awareness of social justice. I also emphasize “critical constructivist” learning theory. Constructivism challenges students (with the guidance of the teacher) to forge their own understanding of various concepts by formulating and testing hypotheses, and by utilizing inductive, not just deductive, reasoning. A constructivist stance asks students to recognize and build upon their prior knowledge while facing their own assumptions and expectations as an avenue to deeper and more meaningful learning. My practices avoid traditional forms of assessment (selected-response tests), strive to ask students to create authentic representations of their learning, and requires revision of that student work.

Some of the primary structures of this course include the following:

• I delay traditional grades on student work to encourage you to focus on learning instead of seeking an “A” and to discourage you from being “finishers” instead of engaged in assignments. At any point in the course, you can receive oral identification of on-going grades if you arrange an individual conference concerning you work. However, this course functions under the expectation that no student work is complete until the last day of the course; therefore, technically all students have no formal grade until the submission of the final portfolio. One of the primary goals of this course is to encourage you to move away from thinking and acting as a student and toward thinking and acting in authentic ways that manifest themselves in the world outside of school.

• I include individual conferences for all students at mid-term (and any time one is requested), based on a self-evaluation, a mid-course evaluation, and an identification of student concerns for the remainder of the course. You will receive a significant amount of oral feedback (“feedback” and “grades” are not the same, and I consider “grades” much less useful than feedback), but much of my feedback comes in the form of probing questions that require you to make informed decisions instead of seeking to fulfill a requirement established by me or some other authority. Your learning experience is not a game of “got you”; thus, you have no reason to distrust the process. I value and support student experimentation, along with the necessity of error and mistakes during those experiments. My classroom is not a place where you need to mask misunderstandings and mistakes. I do not equate learning with a student fulfilling clearly defined performances (see Freire’s commentary on prescription above), but I do equate learning with students creating their own parameters for their work and then presenting their work in sincere and faithful ways.

• I include portfolio assessment in my courses, requiring students to draft work throughout the course, to seek peer and professor feedback through conferences, and to compile at the end all of their assignments in a course with a reflection on that work; my final assessments are weighted for students and guided by expectations for those assignments, but those weights and expectations are tentative and offered for negotiation with each student. Ultimately, the final grade is calculated holistically and based on that cumulative portfolio. All major assignments in this course must be drafted in order to be eligible for a final grade of “A.” The drafting process must include at least two weeks of dedication to the assignment, student-solicited feedback from the professor, and peer feedback. Assignments must be submitted in final forms in the culminating portfolio, but documentation of the drafting process must also be submitted with the final products. Any major assignments that do not fulfill the expectation of drafting will not receive a grade higher than a “B.” Revision is a necessary aspect of completing academic work.

Welcome to the occupation. This is your class, a series of moments of your life—where you make your decisions and act in ways you choose. Freedom and choice, actually, are frightening things because with them come responsibility. We are often unaccustomed to freedom, choose, and responsibility, especially in the years we spend in school. So if you are nervous about being given the freedom to speak and the responsibility for making your own choices, that is to be expected. But I am here to help—not prescribe, not to judge. That too will make you a bit nervous. I am glad to have this opportunity in your life, and I will not take it lightly. I would be honored if you choose not to take it lightly either.

References

Ayres, W. (2001). To teach: The journey of a teacher. New York: Teachers College Press.

Brooks, J. G., & Brooks, M. G. (1999). In search of understanding: The case for constructivist classrooms. Alexandria, VA: Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development.

Dewey, J. (1938/1997). Experience and education. New York: Free Press.

Freire, P. (1993). Pedagogy of the oppressed. New York: Continuum.

Gardner, H. (1999). The disciplined mind: What all students should understand. New York: Simon and Schuster.

Gardner, H. (1991). The unschooled mind: How children think and how schools should teach. New York: Basic Books.

Greene, M. (1995). Releasing the imagination: Essays on education, the arts, and social change. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

hooks, b. (1999). remembered rapture: the writer at work. New York: Henry Holt and Company.

———. (1994). Teaching to transgress: Education as the practice of freedom. New York: Routledge.

Kincheloe, J. L. (2005a). Critical constructivism primer. New York: Peter Lang.

Kincheloe, J. L. (2005b). Critical pedagogy primer. New York: Peter Lang.

Pinker, S. (1994). The language instinct. New York: Harper Perennial.

———. (1999). Words and rules: The ingredients of language. New York: Basic Books.

Popham, W. J. (2001). The Truth about testing: An educator’s call to action. Alexandria, VA: ASCD.

———. (2003). Test better, teach better: The instructional role of assessment. Alexandria, VA: Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development.

Zemelman, S., Daniels, H., & Hyde, A. (2005). Best Practice: Today’s standards for teaching and learning in America’s schools (3rd ed.). Portsmouth, NH: Heinemann.

Joseph Campell

Add Campbell links